Proverbs 11:12 - Meaning and Application

Silence is here praised as a mark of true friendship, and also as something that helps keep friendship strong. It shows wisdom, because a person of understanding has control over his own spirit. When he is provoked, he keeps quiet, so he does not let out his anger or stir up anger in others with insulting words or sharp comments.

It also shows sincerity, because a faithful person is true not only to his own promise, but also to his friend’s good. He keeps back anything that, if made public, would harm his neighbor. This kind of careful silence protects trust.

This wise, friendly discretion stands against two very bad sins of speech. First, it opposes speaking with contempt to a person’s face. The one who lacks wisdom shows his foolishness by doing this. He looks down on his neighbor, calls him names at the smallest offense, and treats him as if he were worthless.

Second, it opposes gossiping about a person behind his back. A tale-bearer carries stories from house to house, whether they are true or false, to stir up trouble and spread discord. He gives away secrets that were trusted to him, and in doing so he breaks the rules of friendship and conversation and loses the trust that belongs to both.