Proverbs 21:9 - Meaning and Application

See here what a great trouble it is for a man to have a quarrelsome, complaining wife. She breaks out in anger at every little thing, and often for no reason at all. She scolds her husband or anyone around her, is miserable herself, and makes life hard for her children and servants. In both ways, she becomes a burden to her husband.

Even if a man has a large and impressive house, this will spoil his comfort there. The writer calls it a “house of society,” meaning a home where a man can welcome others and enjoy good company. But such a wife makes both him and his house unfriendly and unfit for the pleasure of true friendship. It leaves him ashamed of his choice and his poor management, and it drives away peace from his guests.

This is also what many a man is forced to do under such trouble. He cannot keep control by arguing, because it does no good to oppose fury with reason. His wisdom and grace will not let him answer insult with insult, and his love for his wife will not let him be harsh with her. So he thinks it best to withdraw to a quiet corner on the roof and sit there alone, away from her noise.

If he uses that time well, he is taking the wisest course. It is better to do that than to leave the house and look for bad company and distraction, as many do. Like Adam, they use their wife’s sin as an excuse for their own.