Proverbs 27:9 - Meaning and Application

Here is a charge to be faithful and steady toward our friends, especially our long-time friends. We should keep close to them and be ready to do all the good we can for them. It is a blessing to have a close friend whom we can trust, share our thoughts with, and ask for wise counsel.

That friend does not have to be a blood relative, though it is happiest when one of our relatives can serve that role. Peter and Andrew were brothers, as were James and John, yet Solomon often treats a friend and a brother as different people. It is also wise to choose a friend who lives near us, since that makes friendship easier to maintain and kindness easier to exchange. We should also show special respect to those who have been friends to our family. If a man was your father’s friend, do not turn away from him. Serve him and make use of his help when needed, because he is a tested friend, he knows your affairs, and he likely cares about your well-being. It is part of our duty to our parents, even after they are gone, to love their friends and seek their counsel. Solomon’s son ruined himself by rejecting the advice of his father’s friends.

There is also a good reason to value true friendship so highly. One reason is the pleasure it gives. There is real sweetness in talking and planning with a sincere friend. It is like ointment and perfume, pleasant to the senses and refreshing to the spirit. Such friendship lifts the heart, because sharing our burdens with a friend makes them lighter, and it comforts us to hear his view of our situation.

The best part of friendship is not loud laughter or empty fun, but honest counsel. It is faithful advice, given without flattery, from one soul to another. That kind of counsel reaches the heart and deals with deep concerns, especially matters of the soul (Psalm 66:16). The most pleasant conversation is the kind that speaks about spiritual things and helps the soul prosper.

A second reason is the help friendship gives in trouble. We are told not to go into a brother’s house and expect relief just because of family ties. Blood relation often goes no farther than name alone, and when a real need comes, it may fail. It is wiser to befriend our neighbors, because they are near and more ready to help in hard times. If we are kind to them and act like good neighbors, we are more likely to find the same kindness from them when trouble comes (Psalm 18:24).