Proverbs 23:12 - Meaning and Application

Here we have, first, a parent instructing his child. He urges the child to apply his mind to his studies, especially to the Scriptures and his catechism, and to pay attention to words of knowledge. By these, the child may learn his duty, his danger, and where his true good lies. It is not enough to hear such teaching. He must take it into his heart, delight in it, and bring his will under its authority. The heart is truly taught when the teaching reaches the heart.

We also have a parent correcting his child. A loving parent can hardly bring himself to do this, because it goes against his feelings. Still, he sees it is necessary, and it is his duty, so he must not withhold correction when it is needed. A small, wise discipline, like the rod, is not cruel. It is meant for a child’s good, and it will not kill him. In fact, it may keep him from ruining himself by sinful habits that must be restrained.

For the moment, discipline is not pleasant. It brings pain to both parent and child. Yet when correction is given wisely, with prayer, and for the child’s good, God can use it to prevent great harm. It may become a means of keeping the child from complete ruin and of saving his soul from hell. Parents must care most for their children’s souls. They should not see them moving toward hell without doing everything they can, with great care and concern, to pull them back like burning sticks from the fire.

Then there is a parent encouraging his child. He tells him that all he expects is what will be good for him: a wise heart and truthful speech. He wants the child to live under the rule of sound principles and to keep his tongue in good order. Children who learn to speak rightly when they are young may be better prepared to act rightly when they grow up. They should not let foul speech or wicked speech take root in them.

He also tells the child what a joy it would be to him if the child answered that expectation. “If your heart is wise, my heart will rejoice, even my own heart, which has taken so much care and trouble for you.” A child’s wisdom is the joy of parents and teachers, who have no greater joy than to see their children walk in the truth (3 John 1:4). If children are wise, godly, and conscientious, God is pleased, and that becomes the parent’s joy too. Then the years spent teaching them are not wasted, the prayers offered for them are answered, and the burden of care is greatly eased. Such children become a comfort, a credit, and a hope to their parents, in life and in death.