Genesis 23:3 - Meaning and Application

Here is Abraham’s humble request to his neighbors, the Hittites, for a burial place among them (Genesis 23:3, 4). It seems surprising that he had to do this at all, but we should see it as God’s providence, not Abraham’s neglect, as Acts 7:5 shows, where it says that God gave him no inheritance in Canaan. It would be good if all who carefully prepare a burial place for their bodies after death were just as careful to prepare a resting place for their souls.

Notice first the helpful relief this matter gave Abraham’s grief for the moment: he stood up from before his dead. Those who begin to feel sorrow taking over should guard against sitting alone and brooding over their loss. There must be a time to rise from before the dead and stop mourning. Thanks be to God, our happiness does not depend on the life of any one creature. Even funeral arrangements may help ease grief at first, when grief is most likely to rule. Weeping must not keep us from sowing.

Notice also Abraham’s reason for speaking to the children of Heth: “I am a stranger and a foreigner among you.” Because of that, he was without property and had to ask humbly for a burial place. This was one more chance for Abraham to confess that he was a stranger and pilgrim on the earth, and he was not ashamed to say so openly (Hebrews 11:13). The death of our loved ones should strongly remind us that this world is not our home. When they are gone, we should say, “We are going too.”

His words also show how uneasy he was until the matter was settled: that I may bury my dead out of my sight. Death makes dear people unpleasant to look upon, though while they lived they were the delight of our eyes. The face that was once fresh and lively becomes pale and frightening, fit only to be laid in the land of darkness. While she was still before him, it kept renewing his grief, and he wanted that grief ended.

Next comes the generous offer the children of Heth made to him (Genesis 23:5, 6). They honored him with a respectful title: “You are a prince of God among us.” That means not only great, but good. He had called himself a stranger and foreigner, but they called him a great prince, for those who humble themselves will be lifted up. God had promised to make Abraham’s name great.

They also offered him the best of their burial places. Even natural reason teaches us to be courteous and respectful to everyone, even strangers and foreigners. The noble generosity of these Canaanites puts many who call themselves Israelites to shame, especially their coldness, selfishness, and bad temper. These Canaanites were willing to share their burial ground with Abraham and to have their end like his.

Abraham then made his own careful proposal (Genesis 23:7-9). He thanked them for their kindness with great respect and good manners. Though he was a great man, an old man, and now a mourner, he still stood up and bowed before them. Religion teaches good manners, and people do wrong when they use religion as an excuse for rudeness or rough behavior. He then named the place that seemed most useful to him, the cave of Machpelah, likely near him and not yet used as a burial place. Ephron owned it. Abraham did not claim any right to it, but asked that they use their influence with Ephron so he could buy the cave and the field around it.

This was not sinful coveting. A modest desire to get what is useful to us by fair and honest means is not the kind of desire forbidden in the tenth commandment. Abraham was simply seeking a proper place to bury his dead.

Then Ephron offered the field as a gift to Abraham (Genesis 23:10, 11). Abraham had expected he would need to ask hard before getting it, but Ephron freely offered it right away. Some people are more generous than others first suppose. Abraham had likely done many things to help his neighbors and serve them where he could, and now they were returning his kindness, for one who waters others will himself be watered. If people who profess faith show real kindness and helpfulness to all, that will bring them comfort and good in return, as well as glory to God.

Abraham then kindly and sincerely declined the gift (Genesis 23:12, 13). He thanked Ephron warmly and bowed before the people of the land, so they would honor Ephron the more when they saw Abraham honoring him. But Abraham still meant to pay the full price. He did not refuse out of pride or because he scorned Ephron’s kindness. He refused, first, for the sake of justice. Abraham was rich in silver and gold (Genesis 13:2), and he could pay for the field, so he would not take advantage of Ephron’s generosity. Honesty, as well as honor, keeps us from living at our neighbors’ expense or taking unfair advantage of their kindness.

He refused also for prudence. He did not want Ephron, if his generous mood changed later, to say, “I have made Abraham rich” (Genesis 14:23), or for some later heir to dispute Abraham’s claim because the gift had been made without payment. David later refused a similar offer from Araunah (2 Samuel 24:24). We do not know what offense may later come from those who are most kind to us now.

Finally, Ephron set the price but did not press it hard (Genesis 23:14, 15). He said the land was worth four hundred shekels of silver, about fifty pounds in our money, but then added, “What is that between me and you?” He would rather please his friend than keep so much money. In this we see two good things in Ephron.

First, he showed a low view of worldly wealth. “What is that?” he said, as if it were too little to mention. Many people would have called it a large sum and useful for a child’s share, but Ephron treated it lightly. It is good for people to think of earthly wealth as small and passing. It is not real lasting treasure, and a man’s life does not depend on how much he has (Luke 12:15).

Second, he showed true courtesy and goodwill toward his friend and neighbor. He was not suspicious of Abraham as a foreign resident, and he was not envious because Abraham might prosper. He did not resent Abraham for being different in religion. He was far kinder to him than many people are even to their own brothers. “What is that between me and you?” means that no small matter should cause trouble between true friends.

When we are tempted to grow angry over insults, to press hard for our rights, or to withhold kindness, we should answer that temptation with this question: “What does that matter between me and my friend?”