Numbers 30:3 - Meaning and Application

It is taken for granted here that people who are fully responsible for themselves, and who also have sound judgment and memory, must keep every vow they make, as long as it is lawful and possible. But if the person making the vow is under another’s authority, the case is different. Two closely related cases are set out and decided here.

The first is the case of a daughter in her father’s house. Some think this may also include a son who is still at home under his father and under guardians. I cannot say whether that exception should be stretched that far. We are not allowed to make distinctions where the law does not make them. The general rule is clear: if a man vows, he must pay. But here the law speaks plainly about a daughter. Her vow is not fully binding at once, but remains undecided until her father hears of it, and it is assumed that he hears it from her.

When her father hears it, he has the power either to confirm it or to cancel it. Even his silence is enough to confirm it, as Numbers 30:4 says, “If he keeps silent, her vows stand.” Silence shows consent. By not speaking against her, he allows the freedom she has taken for herself, and as long as he does not object, she remains bound by her vow.

But if he openly rejects it, he can fully cancel it. He may do this because such a vow could harm the family’s affairs, upset the father’s plans, spoil provisions for the household if it concerned food, or make family needs harder to meet if it was more costly than his means could bear. Above all, it would challenge his authority over his child. So if he forbids it, she is released, and the Lord will forgive her, meaning she will not be held guilty for breaking her vow. She meant well when she made it, and if her intent was sincere, she will be counted as doing better than sacrifice.

This shows how much children owe their parents in respect and obedience. It is also good for the whole community that parental authority be upheld. When children are encouraged to disobey their parents, as they were by the tradition of the elders (Matthew 15:5-6), they soon become, in other matters too, children of Belial, that is, worthless and lawless people. If this law is not meant to extend to children marrying without their parents’ consent, so as to give parents power to cancel the marriage, though some have thought it does, it still proves that such behavior is sinful. It also calls children who have acted foolishly to repent and humble themselves before God and their parents.

The case of a wife is much the same. A widow or a divorced woman has neither father nor husband to control her. So whatever vows she binds herself with stand against her, as Numbers 30:9 says. If she breaks such a vow, she does so at her own risk. But a wife, who cannot rightly call anything her own without her husband’s approval, cannot make such a vow without that approval.

The law is clear in the case of a woman who remains married after making the vow. If her husband allows it, even by saying nothing, it stands, as Numbers 30:6-7 teach. If he refuses it, then her duty to her husband comes before the vow, since her vow arose only from her own act and not from any prior command of God. She is to be subject to him as to the Lord, so it would be her sin to go against him. She should perhaps have asked his consent before making the vow. Therefore she needs forgiveness, as Numbers 30:8 says.

The same rule applies if a wife soon becomes a widow or is divorced. Even if she returns to her father’s house, she does not thereby come back under her father’s authority in a way that would let him cancel her vows (Numbers 30:9). But if the vow was made while she was in her husband’s house, and her husband rejected it, then it was canceled at once and for all. She does not regain that obligation when she is freed from her husband’s rule. This seems to be the clear meaning of Numbers 30:10-14, which would otherwise only repeat Numbers 30:6-8.

It is added in Numbers 30:15 that if the husband nullifies his wife’s vows, he will bear her guilt. That means if what she vowed was truly good, for God’s honor and for her own spiritual good, and the husband canceled it from greed, temper, or a desire to show his power, then although she is freed from the vow, he will have much to answer for. Here we should notice how carefully God’s law protects the good order of families and keeps the authority of those above, along with the duty and respect of those below. It is fitting that every man should rule his own house and keep his wife and children in proper order, with dignity.

Rather than let this great order be broken, or give any encouragement for those under authority to break their bonds, God was willing to release even the claims of a solemn vow. This shows how much religion strengthens family ties and guards the well-being of all human society, so that in it the families of the earth are blessed.