Genesis 31:43 - Meaning and Application

Here we have the matter settled between Laban and Jacob. Laban had no real answer to Jacob’s complaint. He could not defend himself or condemn Jacob, but his own conscience had found him guilty of the wrong he had done. Even so, he did not want to admit his fault, ask Jacob’s forgiveness, or make things right.

Instead, he shifts the talk by speaking warmly about Jacob’s wives and children, saying, “These daughters are my daughters” (Genesis 31:43). When he could not excuse his actions, he was, in effect, admitting what he should have done. He should have treated them as his own, but he had treated them like strangers (Genesis 31:15). It is common for people without true affection to make a show of it when it suits them. Laban may also have been boasting, speaking in a proud and exaggerated way, as if to say, “Everything you see is mine.” It was not true, because all of it belonged to Jacob, who had paid dearly for it. Still, Jacob let him speak that way, seeing that Laban was softening. Worldly people care a great deal about property. They like to boast, “This is mine, and that is mine,” like Nabal, who said, “my bread and my water” (1 Samuel 25:11).

Then Laban proposed a covenant of friendship, and Jacob agreed at once, without demanding that Laban humble himself first, much less repay what he owed. When quarrels happen, we should be ready to make peace on fair terms. Peace and love are such valuable treasures that we can hardly pay too much to keep them. It is better to accept some loss than to keep living in strife.

Jacob left the details of the agreement to Laban. The covenant meant, first, that Jacob would be a good husband to his wives and would not mistreat them or take other wives besides them (Genesis 31:50). Jacob had given Laban no reason to fear that he would be unkind, yet he was willing to make the promise. Though Laban had mistreated them himself, he wanted to bind Jacob not to do the same. Those who are harsh themselves are often the first to suspect others, and those who neglect their own duties are often the most demanding toward everyone else.

Second, the agreement meant that Jacob would not be a bad neighbor to Laban (Genesis 31:52). They promised that no act of hostility would ever come between them. Jacob was to forgive and forget the wrongs he had suffered, and not hold them against Laban or his family later. We may feel an injury deeply, even when we have no right to take revenge.

The covenant was made with great ceremony, according to the custom of that time. A pillar was set up (Genesis 31:45), and a heap of stones was raised (Genesis 31:46), so the agreement would be remembered. Writing agreements was either not known then or not commonly used. A sacrifice was offered, a peace offering (Genesis 31:54). Our peace with God gives true comfort to our peace with one another. If both sides are reconciled to him, it will be easier for them to be reconciled to each other.

They also ate bread together (Genesis 31:46), sharing the meal connected with the sacrifice (Genesis 31:54). This showed a sincere reconciliation. In ancient times, covenants of friendship were often sealed by eating and drinking together. It was like a love feast.

They also called on God to witness their sincerity. First, they spoke of him as a witness (Genesis 31:49): “The Lord watch between me and you.” That means, “May the Lord notice everything either of us does to break this agreement. When we cannot see each other, may his presence keep us in check. Wherever we are, we are under his eye.” This can also be read as a prayer. Friends who are far apart may take comfort in this, because when they cannot know or help each other, God watches between them and sees both of them.

They also called on God as judge (Genesis 31:53). They named him the God of Abraham, from whom Jacob came, and the God of Nahor, from whom Laban came, and the God of their father, their common ancestor. This shows that they worshiped the same God, which should have kept them from enmity. Those who have one God should have one heart. Those who agree in religion should work to agree in everything else. God is the judge between those in conflict, and he will judge fairly. Anyone who does wrong does so at great risk.

They also gave the place a new name (Genesis 31:47-48). Laban called it by a Syriac name, and Jacob gave it the Hebrew name, “heap of witness,” and it was also called Mizpah, meaning “watchtower” (Genesis 31:49). Since their descendants were included in the covenant, they took care to preserve its memory. These names fit well with the seals of the gospel covenant, which are witnesses for us if we are faithful, but witnesses against us if we are false. The name Jacob gave, Galeed, remained, not the name Laban gave.

In all this, Laban talked a great deal and tried to make much of himself. Jacob said little. When Laban appealed to God with many titles, Jacob simply swore by the fear of his father Isaac, meaning the God whom Isaac feared and served, unlike Abraham and Nahor, who had once served other gods. Two words from Jacob were worth more than all of Laban’s speeches and empty repetitions. The words of wise people are heard in quiet, more than the shout of one who rules among fools (Ecclesiastes 9:17).

At last, after all this angry talking, they parted as friends (Genesis 31:55). Laban kissed his sons and daughters with real affection, blessed them, and then returned home in peace. God often is better to us than our fears. He can wonderfully turn people’s hearts in our favor, beyond what we expected. It is never in vain to trust in him.