Deuteronomy 22:13 - Meaning and Application

These laws belong to the seventh commandment, and they restrain fleshly desires by adding penalties for sins that fight against the soul. First, if a man, driven by lust for another woman, tries to get rid of his wife by slandering her and falsely accusing her of not being a virgin when he married her, then his lie is to be exposed and punished (Deuteronomy 22:13-19). The exact kind of proof used to expose his lie is not clear to us, and it is not necessary to know the details. The people for whom this law was given understood it, and we only need to know that this wicked husband, who tried to ruin his own wife’s name, was to be whipped, fined, and barred from ever divorcing her again.

He might have divorced her if he wished, by the law’s permission (Deuteronomy 24:1), but then he would have had to give her her dowry. If, to save that money and do her even greater harm, he chose instead to destroy her good name, then he deserved severe punishment. He also should lose forever the right to divorce her. The closer people are to us, the greater the sin of lying about them and staining their reputation. It is called a serious crime to slander your own mother’s son (Psalm 50:20), who is near to you, and it is even worse to slander your own wife or husband, who is in a sense one with you. An unclean bird indeed fouls its own nest.

Chastity, meaning sexual purity, is both honor and virtue. Anything that gives rise to suspicion about it is a great shame and disgrace. In this matter, more than almost any other, we should guard both our own good name and the good name of others. Parents also must see themselves as responsible for defending their children’s reputation, because their children’s honor is part of their own.

Second, if a woman who was married as a virgin was found not to have been one, she was to be stoned to death at her father’s door (Deuteronomy 22:20, 21). If the sin had happened before she was engaged, it would not have been treated as a capital crime. But she would still deserve death for deceiving the man she married, because she knowingly let him believe she was chaste and modest. Some think this punishment applied only if the sin happened after she was engaged, since many people were betrothed before full marriage.

This law gave young women a strong warning to flee sexual sin. What was hidden before marriage, and so did not ruin the wedding, would likely be found out afterward, bringing lasting shame and total ruin. It also reminded parents that they must do everything they can to preserve their children’s chastity. They should give wise counsel, set a good example, keep them away from bad company, pray for them, and place needed limits on them. If children commit sexual sin, parents must bear the grief and shame of seeing judgment carried out at their own door. The phrase “folly in Israel” was used of this very sin in the case of Dinah (Genesis 34:7). All sin is folly, but sexual sin is especially foolish, and most of all when it happens in Israel, among a people who claim to be holy.

Third, if any man, whether single or married, lay with a married woman, both of them were to be put to death (Deuteronomy 22:22). This law had already been given before (Leviticus 20:10). But if a married man lay with an unmarried woman, the sin was not of the same level, and it was not punished with death, because it did not introduce a false child into a family and pretend that child was legitimate.

Fourth, if a young woman was engaged but not yet married, she was no longer fully under the eye of the man who would become her husband. So the law gave her chastity special protection. If she gave herself willingly, she and the man who sinned with her were to be put to death (Deuteronomy 22:23, 24). It was assumed that she consented if the act happened in the city, where help could have come quickly if she had cried out. Silence was taken as consent. We should remember that people are often willing to yield to temptation, whatever they say, if they will not use the help that is available to them to resist it.

Even her being found in the city, a place of company and amusement, when she should have stayed under her father’s protection, counted against her. Those who needlessly expose themselves to temptation often suffer for it if they are caught before they realize it. Dinah lost her honor because she wanted to satisfy her curiosity by seeing the daughters of the land. By this law, even the Virgin Mary would have faced public accusation and death, if God had not cleared the matter for Joseph by sending an angel.

If the woman was forced and did not consent, then the man who raped her was to be put to death, but the young woman was innocent and was to be freed from blame (Deuteronomy 22:24-27). If it happened in the field, far from any neighbors, it would be assumed that she cried out, but no one was there to help. Also, being in the field, a lonely place, did not expose her in the same way. This law teaches us several things. We suffer for the evil we do, not for evil done to us. Nothing is sin unless the will is in it in some measure. We should also judge others in the best light unless the facts clearly show otherwise. Charity teaches this, and fairness does too. Even if no one heard her cry, since no one could have heard it if she did, it should be assumed that she did cry out.

We should also learn that our chastity should be as precious to us as our life. When that is attacked, it is not wrong to cry out as if for murder, because the matter is that serious. By this, we are also taught what to do when Satan attacks us with temptation. Wherever we are, we should cry out to heaven for help, “Help me, Lord, for I suffer violence.” There we can be sure of being heard, as Paul was when the Lord said, “My grace is sufficient for you.”

Fifth, if a young woman who was not engaged was forced in this way, the man who abused her was to pay a fine. Her father was to receive the fine, and if he and the young woman agreed, the man was to marry her and never divorce her, no matter how much lower she was in status or how displeasing she might later become to him, as Tamar was to Amnon after he had forced her (Deuteronomy 22:28, 29). This was meant to discourage such wicked behavior, which it is shameful even to have to read and write about.

The law against a man marrying his father’s widow, or showing any improper closeness with his father’s wife, is repeated here (Deuteronomy 22:30) from Leviticus 18:8. It likely serves, as Bishop Patrick notes, as a short reminder for them to carefully keep all the laws there against incestuous marriages, since this one is singled out as the most shameful of them all. The apostle says of it, “It is not even named among the Gentiles” (1 Corinthians 5:1).