2 Samuel 14:28 - Meaning and Application

Absalom had been away from his father-in-law for three years, and then he spent two more years as a prisoner in his own house. In both situations, he was treated better than he deserved. Yet his heart was still not humble. His pride had not been broken, and instead of being thankful that his life was spared, he felt deeply wronged that he had not been fully restored to his place at court.

If Absalom had truly repented of his sin, he would have accepted life away from the pleasures of court. His time in his own house, especially in Jerusalem, the holy city, should have suited him well. If a murderer must be allowed to live, then he should at least live as a recluse, shut away from public honor. But Absalom could not bear even this fair and mild discipline.

He wanted to see the king’s face. He claimed it was because he loved his father, but really he wanted a chance to replace him. He could not do his father harm until he was back in his favor, so winning reconciliation was the first step in his scheme. This snake could not strike again until it was warmed in its father’s bosom.

He did not gain this point by humble apologies or promises to change. Instead, strangely enough, he did it through insults and injuries. By acting so proudly toward Joab, David’s military commander, he forced Joab to speak for him. He sent to Joab once and then again, asking him to come and talk, but Joab would not come (2 Samuel 14:29). Perhaps Joab felt Absalom had not thanked him enough for bringing him back to Jerusalem. Proud people often treat every service they receive as something owed to them.

You might think that a man in Absalom’s position would have sent Joab a kind message and offered him a rich gift. That is what people at court usually expect. Instead, Absalom told his servants to set Joab’s grain field on fire (2 Samuel 14:30), as hateful a thing as he could do. Samson could not think of a greater injury to the Philistines than that. It is strange that Absalom thought he could win Joab’s help by hurting him, or gain favor with the king and the people by showing such malice and hostility toward the public good, since the fire might have spread to other people’s crops too.

Yet by this means he brought Joab to him (2 Samuel 14:31). In this, we see how God sometimes uses trouble to bring near those who have stayed far from him. Absalom was bound by law to make restitution for the damage (Exodus 22:6), but we do not read that he offered it or that Joab demanded it. Joab may have thought he could not defend his refusal to come and speak with him, and Absalom may have thought he could defend his harsh way of getting Joab’s attention. Joab may also have been alarmed by Absalom’s boldness and rage, and feared he had gained enough support among the people to dare almost anything.

So Joab not only accepted the insult but also went to the king on Absalom’s behalf. See how much some people can do by threats and by pushing things with a hard hand.

By this haughty message, if we can even call it that, to the king, Absalom won back his place at court and got to see the king’s face. That is, he was restored to public favor and access, even to the circle of private counsel, like those spoken of in Esther 1:14.

His message was proud and demanding, and it was unworthy of both a son and a subject (2 Samuel 14:32). He acted as if the kindness shown to him, by bringing him back from exile and restoring him to his own house in Jerusalem, meant nothing. He said, in effect, “Why did I come from Geshur?” He also denied his own very clear guilt and would not admit any wrongdoing in himself. In that way, he hinted that he had been treated unfairly when he was reproved. He even challenged the king’s justice: “Let him kill me, if he can bear it,” knowing David loved him too much to do that.

Still, with that message, he got what he wanted (2 Samuel 14:33). David’s deep affection for him made him read all this as respect for his father and a strong desire for his favor, when sadly it meant the opposite. This shows how easily wise and good people can be misled by their own children when those children mean harm, especially when love is blind.

Absalom showed outward submission by bowing with his face to the ground, and David sealed his pardon with a kiss. If a father’s love could bring him back to an unrepentant son, should penitent sinners doubt the mercy of God, who is the Father of mercies? If Ephraim mourns himself, God quickly responds with all the tender kindness of a father: “He is a dear son, a pleasant child” (Jeremiah 31:20).