2 Samuel 3:7 - Meaning and Application

Abner broke with Ish-bosheth and left his cause after a small provocation that Ish-bosheth foolishly gave him. God can carry out his own purposes through the sins and foolish acts of people. Ish-bosheth accused Abner of a very serious crime, saying he had slept with one of his father Saul’s concubines (2 Samuel 3:7). We are not told whether this was true, or what made him suspect it, but Ish-bosheth should have kept quiet. It was unwise to offend Abner, since he needed him so much, and if the suspicion was false, it was both ungrateful and dishonest to entertain it against the man who had risked everything for him and was plainly his best friend.

Abner reacted very sharply. He does not clearly say whether he was guilty in this matter or not (2 Samuel 3:8), but the wording suggests he may have been. Still, he makes clear that he would not accept a rebuke from Ish-bosheth. He says, in effect, “Am I a dog’s head, a worthless and contemptible creature, that you should shame me like this?” (2 Samuel 3:8). He reminds Ish-bosheth of all the good he had done for Saul’s house, especially in fighting against Judah, the tribe to which the kingdom properly belonged and which would certainly have the crown in the end. By staying loyal to Saul’s house, Abner had acted against both his conscience and his own interest, and he thought that deserved a better reward. Yet he may not have served Saul’s house so faithfully if he had not hoped to gain from it himself. Proud people do not like being corrected, especially by those they believe they have helped.

Abner also showed that he would get revenge. With great arrogance, he let Ish-bosheth know that the same hand that had raised him up could also bring him down. He knew that God had sworn to give the kingdom to David, but he had resisted that because of ambition. Now he was ready to support David, at least outwardly, because revenge had taken hold of him. He covered this change with talk of respecting God’s will, but that was only a pretense. People ruled by their own desires have many masters, and those desires often pull them in opposite directions. Abner’s ambition had once made him serve Ish-bosheth, and now his anger made him side with David. If he had truly cared about God’s promise to David, he would have been steady and consistent. Instead, while Abner served his own passions, God still used him for his own purposes, making even Abner’s anger and revenge serve God’s praise and strengthening David through it.

Ish-bosheth was stunned by Abner’s boldness and could not answer him (2 Samuel 3:11). If he had had real courage, especially as a ruler, he could have told Abner that his past service only made his present crimes worse, and that he did not need such a man. But he knew how weak he was, so he said nothing, afraid of making things worse. His heart failed him, and he became like the enemies David described, like a leaning wall and a shaky fence (Psalm 62:3).

Then Abner made contact with David. We must assume he had begun to tire of Ish-bosheth’s cause and was looking for a way to leave it, or else he would not have acted so soon after threatening Ish-bosheth (2 Samuel 3:12). He sent messengers to David saying that he was ready to serve him. He added, “Whose is the land? Is it not yours?” In other words, David had the best claim to rule and the strongest support from the people. God can find ways to make even enemies useful to Christ’s kingdom, even when they have no true love for it and have strongly opposed it. Sometimes enemies become a stepping-stone, not only to be pushed down, but to help others rise. The earth even helped the woman.

David agreed to treat with Abner, but he required that Abner first secure the return of Michal, Saul’s daughter and David’s wife (2 Samuel 3:13). This showed the sincerity of David’s love for his first and rightful wife. Neither her marriage to another man nor his own later troubles had turned his heart away from her. Many waters could not quench that love. It also showed his respect for Saul’s house. Far from insulting it now that it had fallen, David still valued his connection to it. He could not enjoy the honor of the throne unless Michal shared it with him, so he did not bear grudges against the family of his enemy.

Abner sent word that David must speak to Ish-bosheth, and David did so (2 Samuel 3:14), saying that he had paid a high price for Michal and that she had been wrongly taken from him. Ish-bosheth did not dare refuse, now that Abner was no longer backing him, so he took her from Phaltiel, the man Saul had given her to (2 Samuel 3:15). Abner then brought her to David, likely thinking he would be doubly welcome for bringing a wife in one hand and a crown in the other. Phaltiel was deeply sad to lose her and followed her weeping (2 Samuel 3:16), but there was no remedy. He had known when he took her that someone else had the true right to her. Those who take what is not theirs must expect to give it up. No one should set his heart on what he has no right to keep. And if husband and wife have been divided by disagreement, then, if they hope for God’s blessing, they should be reconciled and come together again. Former quarrels should be forgotten, and they should live in love, according to God’s holy rule.

Abner then used his influence with the elders of Israel to bring them over to David, knowing the people would follow their leaders. Since it now served his own purpose, he argued David’s case. First, he said David was Israel’s own choice (2 Samuel 3:17). The people had once wanted David to be their king, after he had shown himself so well in battles with the Philistines and done them much good. No one could claim greater personal worth than David, or less than Ish-bosheth. They had now tested both men, so the crown should go to the one who deserved it most. Second, Abner said David was God’s choice (2 Samuel 3:18). The Lord had spoken about David. When God had appointed Samuel to anoint him, he was in effect promising to save Israel by his hand, for that was why he had been made king.

God had promised to save Israel through David’s hand, so Abner now says that Israel should submit to David. He presents this as both their duty, because it matches God’s will, and their own best interest, because it would bring victory over their enemies. He calls it the height of foolishness to keep opposing David.

Who would have expected such reasoning from Abner’s mouth? Yet God can make even his people’s enemies admit that he has loved them (Revelation 3:9). Abner especially spoke to the men of Benjamin, his own tribe, where he had the most influence and had first drawn men to support Saul’s house. He was the one who had misled them, so he now felt responsible to correct them. In this way, crowds often move as they are guided.

David then finishes the agreement with Abner, and he did wisely. Whatever had moved Abner to come, it was still a good thing to end the war and establish the Lord’s anointed on the throne. David was just as free to use Abner’s help as a poor person is to accept help from a Pharisee, one of the religious leaders who may give out of pride or hypocrisy. Abner then reported to David the people’s feelings and the success of his talks with them (2 Samuel 3:19).

When Abner came the second time, it was no longer in secret, but with twenty men. David welcomed them with a feast (2 Samuel 3:20) as a sign of peace, joy, and a pledge of their agreement, much like the feast after a covenant in Genesis 26:30. If your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he submits, receive him warmly. Abner was pleased with his welcome, glad to be spared from falling with Saul’s house, which would have been unavoidable if he had not taken this path, and even more glad at the honor he might now receive under David. So he promised that, in a short time, he would complete the change and bring all Israel under David’s rule (2 Samuel 3:21).

He told David that he would become king over all that his heart desired. Abner knew David had been raised up by God’s appointment, yet he hinted that David’s rule came from his own ambition for power. In this, as wicked people often do, he judged a good man by himself. Still, David and Abner parted as friends, and the matter was settled well.

So all who fear God and keep his commandments should avoid conflict, even with the wicked, live at peace with everyone, and show the world that they are children of light.