2 Samuel 14:21 - Meaning and Application

Observe here, first, the order given to bring Absalom back. The woman’s message to David was so pleasing, and her way of handling it so clever and surprising, that he was moved to a special kindness. He said to Joab, “Go, bring the young man Absalom back” (2 Samuel 14:21). David himself was willing to show favor, yet for the honor of justice he would not do it unless someone pleaded for Absalom. This helps us understand how God’s grace works. It is true that God has compassion on poor sinners and does not want any to perish, yet he brings them back through a Mediator, one who intercedes for them. In that sense, God has given this order: “Go, bring them back.” God was in Christ, reconciling the world to himself, and Christ came into this world of exile to bring us back to God.

When Joab received these orders, he thanked the king for doing him the honor of using him in such a welcome task (2 Samuel 14:22). Joab took it as a kindness to himself, and some think he even saw it as a sign that David would never call him to account for the murder he had committed. But if that was his thought, he was wrong, as we later see (1 Kings 2:5-6). He did not delay in carrying out David’s command, and he brought Absalom to Jerusalem (2 Samuel 14:23).

Still, David should not be fully excused for suspending the old law: “Whoever sheds man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed” (Genesis 9:6). A righteous ruler should not show special treatment, even to his own family. God’s laws were never meant to be like cobwebs that catch small flies but let the great ones break through. In the end, God justly made Absalom, whom David’s weak pity spared, into a painful burden for him. Yet David allowed Absalom to return to his own house and would not see him at court or in person (2 Samuel 14:24). He did this, first, to protect his own honor, so he would not seem to approve such a serious crime or forgive it too quickly. He did it, second, to humble Absalom more deeply. David may also have heard something about Absalom’s conduct when Joab fetched him, which gave him reason to think he was not truly sorry. So David kept him under this mark of displeasure, hoping it would wake him up to see his sin, turn from it, and make peace with God. Once Absalom truly repented, no doubt David would have been quick to receive him back.

Next, this passage gives us a picture of Absalom. Nothing is said here about his wisdom or godliness. Though he was the son of such a devout father, we read nothing of his devotion. Parents cannot pass grace on to their children, even if they give them the best upbringing. All that is said of Absalom is that he was very handsome. There was no one in all Israel as handsome as he was (2 Samuel 14:25), but that is a poor praise for a man with nothing else of worth. A fine appearance means little if a person’s life is corrupt. Many a polluted and ugly soul lives in a fair body. Absalom’s soul was stained with blood and twisted by unnatural disloyalty to his father and king. His body had no blemish, but his mind was full of wounds and bruises. His beauty may even have been one reason his father was so fond of him and shielded him from justice. Parents have reason to fear trouble for children when they value beauty more than virtue.

He also had very fine hair. Whether it was its length, color, or unusual softness, there was something about it that made it a great ornament to him (2 Samuel 14:26). This notice is not given as if he were a Nazirite, set apart by strict devotion, for he was far from that. It is mentioned more as the hair of a stylish man. He let it grow until it became a burden, and he would not cut it as long as he could bear it. Pride feels neither cold nor heat, and it does not complain about what feeds it, even when that same thing is uncomfortable. When he did cut it at certain times, he did it for display, and he had it weighed so people could see how much it surpassed other men’s. It weighed 200 shekels, which some think was about three pounds and two ounces by our measure. With the oil and powder used on it, and especially if, as Josephus says, it was powdered with gold dust, Bishop Patrick thinks it is not surprising that it weighed so much. In the end, this fine hair became his halter (2 Samuel 18:9).

His family also began to grow. It is likely that he went a long time without a child. Then, perhaps thinking he would never have one, he set up the pillar mentioned later, to keep his name alive (2 Samuel 18:18). After that, he had three sons and one daughter (2 Samuel 14:27). Or it may be that these sons, while he was preparing his rebellion, were all taken away by God’s just hand, and then he raised that monument.