1 Timothy 5:3 - Meaning and Application

Paul gives instructions here about which widows should be enrolled among those the church supported and employed. “Honor widows who are truly widows” means more than show respect, it means care for them and provide for them. In that day, the church had an office that involved widows helping the sick and the elderly under the direction of the deacons. We see this kind of care very early in the life of the church, when the Grecian widows were thought to be overlooked in the daily food distribution (Acts 6:1).

The main rule is this, the church should support widows who are truly in need and truly godly. Those are the widows who are left alone and put their trust in God. It is both a duty and a comfort for those who are in distress to trust in God. Sometimes God allows his people to come into such need that they have nothing else to rely on, so they may learn to trust him more fully. Widowhood is a lonely condition, but the Lord says, “Let the widows trust in me” (Jeremiah 49:11). Those who trust God should also keep praying. If we believe God by faith, we should honor him by prayer and commit ourselves to his care.

Anna was a true widow, one who never left the temple but served God with fasting and prayer night and day (Luke 2:37). But a widow who lives for pleasure is not a widow indeed. A loose or worldly widow was not fit to be supported by the church. Scripture says such a person is “dead while she lives” (1 Timothy 5:6). More generally, all who live for pleasure are spiritually dead while they are alive, because they live without regard for God’s purposes.

Paul also says the church should not be burdened with supporting widows who have relatives able to care for them. If a widow has children or grandchildren, or other close family, those relatives should support her, and the church should not carry that load (1 Timothy 5:4, 1 Timothy 5:16). This is called showing piety at home, that is, showing godliness by caring for one’s own family. Children cannot fully repay their parents for the care they received, but they must do all they can. If parents are in need and children have the means, it is their clear duty to help. God is pleased with this, and Paul says this is “good and acceptable” before him.

This also answers the Pharisees, who taught that gifts to the altar mattered more than helping a needy parent (Matthew 15:5). Paul teaches the opposite, caring for family is a holy duty. He returns to this point again: if anyone does not provide for his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8). Christ came to confirm God’s law, especially the fifth commandment, “Honor your father and mother.” So those who ignore that duty, and even more those who neglect their wife and children, act against the faith. If they waste what should have supported their family on selfish desires, they have denied the faith in practice.

Another reason for this order is that the church may be able to help the widows who are truly alone and truly needy (1 Timothy 5:16). Care should be given wisely. Charity misplaced can get in the way of real charity. We should choose carefully who receives help, so that support is not wasted on people who are not true objects of mercy.

Paul then gives the qualities of widows who could be enrolled for the church’s support. They should be at least sixty years old. They should not be women who have cast off marital faithfulness and remarried carelessly. She should have been the wife of one man, a woman known for hospitality, kindness, and good works. Special care should be taken of those who, when they were able, were ready to do every good work.

He gives examples of these works. If she has brought up children, though not necessarily her own, that counts. If she has lodged strangers and washed the saints’ feet, that is, cared for traveling believers and ministers with hospitality, that also counts. If she has helped the afflicted whenever she was able, then she should now be helped in her need. Those who want mercy in their trouble should show mercy while they are in comfort.

Paul also warns them not to admit younger widows into this group. He says to refuse them, because they are more likely to grow weary of this kind of church service and ordered life, and then remarry and abandon their first faith (1 Timothy 5:11). Their “first faith” means the commitment they made to the church, the pledge to live faithfully in that work. It does not seem to mean a vow never to marry, because Scripture says little about such a vow, and Paul later advises younger widows to marry (1 Timothy 5:14). If “first faith” meant a promise not to marry, he would not have told them to marry.

Younger widows, Paul says, may also learn to be idle, and idleness often leads to gossip and meddling (1 Timothy 5:13). Usually, people who are idle are not idle only. They often become busybodies, causing trouble among neighbors and stirring up conflict among brothers and sisters. So if they are not steady and mature enough for this kind of church responsibility, let them marry, bear children, and manage a household (1 Timothy 5:14).

If housekeepers do not mind their own business, but become gossipers, they give unbelievers a reason to speak against the Christian name. There were, it seems, some such cases in the early church (1 Timothy 5:15). This teaches us that the first churches cared for poor widows and made provision for them, and churches today should follow that good example as far as they can.

In giving the church’s charity or alms, great care must be taken so that those who receive public help are the ones who need it most and are most worthy of it. A widow was not to be supported by the early church if she had relatives able to care for her, or if she was not known for good deeds but lived for pleasure. Paul says, “The younger widows refuse,” because if they became restless in their devotion to Christ, they would likely marry again.

The reputation of religion, and of Christian churches, depends a great deal on the character and conduct of those who are received into any church service, even in a lower role such as deaconesses, or those who receive church alms. If they do not behave well, but are gossipers and busybodies, they will give the enemy a chance to speak badly of the faith. Christianity also requires believers to help their needy relatives, especially poor widows, so the church will not be burdened with them and may help those who are truly widows and have no one else to support them. Rich people should be ashamed to leave their poor family members to the church when it is already hard to provide for those who have no children or grandchildren able to help them.