1 Samuel 25:18 - Meaning and Application

Here we see Abigail’s wise effort to keep her husband and household from the destruction that was about to fall on them. She did her part very well and proved herself true to her character. The anger of foolish people often creates in a short time the kind of trouble that wise people struggle to repair. It is hard to say whether Abigail suffered more from having such a husband, or whether Nabal was blessed to have such a wife.

A good wife is a crown to her husband, protecting him as well as honoring him, and she does him good, not harm. In a case like this, wisdom was better than weapons. Abigail showed her wisdom by acting at once, without delay. She made haste, because it was no time to waste when everything was in danger. Those who want peace should send for it while the enemy is still far away (Luke 14:32).

Her wisdom also showed itself in doing the work herself. She was a woman of great sense and skill, and she knew better than any servant how to handle the matter. A good woman will keep careful watch over her household herself, and not hand off that duty completely to others. Abigail had to make up for Nabal’s faults. He had already treated David’s messengers badly in two ways, by refusing their request and by speaking harshly to them.

She first made up for his refusal with a very generous gift. If Nabal had given them even ordinary supplies, they would have left thankful. Instead, Abigail prepared the best the house could offer, and plenty of it (1 Samuel 25:18). As was common in those days, she sent bread and meat, along with raisins and figs, which were dried sweet foods. Nabal had even refused them water, but she took two wine skins, loaded the donkeys with these supplies, and sent them ahead. A gift softens anger (Proverbs 21:14). Jacob used a similar gift to calm Esau.

When a stingy person plans evil, a generous person thinks of generous ways, and loses nothing by it. “By generous things he shall stand” (Isaiah 32:7, 8). Abigail used her husband’s goods without his knowledge, and she was justified in doing so, even though she had reason to think he would never have agreed if he had known. She was not feeding her own pride or vanity. She was trying to save her husband and family from certain ruin. Husband and wife share their property for their common good, but if either one wastes it or spends it wrongly, that is a wrong against the other.

She also made up for Nabal’s insulting words with her own gentle and winning speech. She met David while he was marching forward, full of anger and ready to destroy Nabal (1 Samuel 25:20). But she used every sign of respect and humility to ask for his favor and to beg him to overlook the offense. She bowed to the ground before David (1 Samuel 25:23) and fell at his feet (1 Samuel 25:24). Yielding can calm serious offenses. She took the place of a penitent woman and a petitioner, and she was not ashamed to do it when it could save her house, even before her own servants and David’s men.

She asked David to hear her out: “Let your servant speak in your hearing.” She did not really need to ask so carefully for his attention, because what she said was strong enough to hold it. Her words were beautifully chosen and deeply moving. She covered every important point, arranged her thoughts well, and spoke with great force and feeling. It is hard to match the natural power of her speech.

She kept speaking to David with the honor due to such a great and good man. Over and over she called him “my lord,” to make up for her husband’s insult in asking, “Who is David?” She did not attack him for his angry state, though he deserved correction. She did not say how badly this fit his character. Instead, she tried to calm him and lead him into a better frame of mind, trusting that his own conscience would then rebuke him.

She took the blame for the wrong done to his messengers. “Upon me, my lord, upon me let this guilt be” (1 Samuel 25:24). “If you are angry, be angry with me rather than with my poor husband, and count it as the fault of your servant” (1 Samuel 25:28). Small and selfish spirits do not mind how much others suffer for their faults. Generous spirits are willing to bear the blame for others. Abigail showed true and strong love for her husband and deep concern for her family. Whatever Nabal was like, he was still her husband.

She also excused her husband’s fault by pointing to his foolish nature and lack of understanding (1 Samuel 25:25). “My lord should not pay much attention to his rudeness and bad manners, for that is just like him. This is not the first time he has acted so badly. He must be borne with, because he lacks sense. Nabal is his name, and folly is with him.” In other words, his foolishness caused it, not hatred. He is simple-minded, not malicious. “Forgive him, for he does not know what he is doing.” What she said was true, and she used it to excuse his fault and keep him from ruin. Still, she would not have done right if she had simply spoken badly of her own husband, whom she should have represented as well as she could.

She also said she had not known about the matter herself. “I did not see the young men, or they would have received a better answer, and would not have gone away empty-handed.” In saying this, she also hinted that although her husband was foolish and unfit to manage things well himself, he had enough sense to listen to her advice.

She acted as if she had already won her point, perhaps because she saw from David’s face that he was beginning to change his mind (1 Samuel 25:26). “Seeing the Lord has kept you back.” She did not depend on her own arguments, but on God’s grace to soften David’s heart, and she was sure that grace would work strongly in him. Then she added, “Let all your enemies be as Nabal,” meaning that if David chose not to take revenge, God himself would deal with Nabal as he would with David’s other enemies. Or she meant that it was beneath David to take revenge on such a weak and helpless man as Nabal, who could neither help nor harm him. David needed only to wish that his enemies might be as unable to resist him as Nabal was. Perhaps she was also thinking of how David had recently spared Saul, when he had Saul completely in his power.

“Did you spare that lion that would have devoured you, and will you shed the blood of this dog that can only bark at you?” Even mentioning what David was about to do, shedding blood and taking revenge, was enough to reach a gentle and gracious spirit like his. It seems, from his reply later (1 Samuel 25:33), that her words did affect him.

She offers him the gift she has brought, but she speaks of it as unworthy of his acceptance. So she asks that it be given to the young men who followed him (1 Samuel 25:27), especially the ten messengers he had sent to Nabal, who had been treated so rudely. She then praises David for the good he had done against the public enemies of his country, and she hopes he will not stain the honor of those great victories with private revenge. “My lord fights the battles of the Lord against the Philistines, and so he should leave it to God to fight his battles against those who insult him” (1 Samuel 25:28). “No wrong has been found in you all your days.” She means that he had never yet done wrong to any of his countrymen, even though Saul had chased him as a traitor. Therefore, she says, he should not begin now, or do something Saul could use to justify his own hatred.

She also foretells the happy outcome of David’s present troubles. “A man is pursuing you and seeking your life,” she says, naming Saul only as “a man” out of respect for his office as king. But David does not need to watch every insult so closely, because these storms will soon pass. She speaks with confidence that God will keep him safe: “The life of my lord will be bound in the bundle of life with the Lord your God.” That means God will hold his life secure, as we keep something bundled up and precious to us (Psalm 66:9; Psalm 116:15). His soul will be treasured up safely, under God’s care, as if locked away with the greatest security.

The Jewish people understand this not only of the life now lived, but also of the life to come, the blessed state of souls after death. For that reason, they often use this line on gravestones. “Here we have laid the body,” they mean, “but we trust the soul is bound up in the bundle of life with the Lord our God.” There it is safe, even when the dust of the body is scattered.

She also says that God will give David victory over his enemies. “He will sling out the souls of your enemies” (1 Samuel 25:29). A stone is tied in a sling, but only so it can be thrown out. In the same way, the souls of the godly are gathered up like grain for the barn, but the souls of the wicked are like weeds for the fire. She further says that God will establish David in wealth and power: “The Lord will surely make my lord a sure house.” Since no enemy can stop that, she urges him to forgive this wrong. In effect, she says, show mercy if you hope to find mercy. God will make you great, and it is the glory of great men to overlook offenses.

Finally, she asks him to think about how much better it would feel later to have forgiven this insult than to have taken revenge (1 Samuel 25:30, 1 Samuel 25:31). She keeps this argument for last, because it is especially strong with a good man. The less he gives way to anger, the more he will care for his own peace and the calm of his conscience, and every wise person should value that. If he avenges himself, she says, it will later grieve him and trouble his heart. Many have done things in anger that they have wished, a thousand times, to undo. Revenge feels sweet for a moment, but it soon turns bitter.

If he passes by the offense, however, it will bring him no grief afterward. On the contrary, it will give him deep joy that wisdom and grace overcame his passion. When we are tempted to sin, we should think about how it will look afterward. Let us never do anything our own conscience will later blame us for, or anything we will remember with regret, saying, “My heart shall not reproach me.”

She ends by asking for his favor. “When the Lord has dealt well with my lord, then remember your servant.” She wants to be remembered as someone who kept him from doing what would have damaged his honor, troubled his conscience, and left a stain on his life story. We have good reason to remember with respect and gratitude those who help keep us from sin.