1 Peter 3:1 - Meaning and Application

After speaking about duties to rulers and masters, the apostle now turns to husbands and wives. He does this so Christian women would not think that faith in Christ gave them freedom from submission to husbands who were pagan or Jewish unbelievers. He tells them what a wife’s duty includes, and he grounds that duty in both behavior and spirit.

A wife is called to submit to her husband. This means a loving, willing obedience to his rightful authority, and it is often the best way to win an unbelieving husband who rejects the message of Scripture. Some husbands will not be persuaded by words, but they may be won by the wise, peaceful, and godly conduct of their wives. Every relationship has its own duties, and both ministers and people should understand them.

A cheerful submission and a respectful love are duties Christian women owe their husbands, whether the husbands are good or bad. These duties belonged to Eve before the fall and still remain, though they are now harder because of sin (Genesis 3:16; 1 Timothy 2:11). The gospel’s aim is to win souls to Christ, yet some people are so stubborn they will not be reached by the word alone. In such cases, a good life, along with faithful daily duties, often speaks more powerfully than words.

Unbelief does not cancel civil duties. A wife must still do her duty to her husband, even if he does not obey the word. Peter also calls wives to live with reverence toward their husbands (Ephesians 5:33). They are to keep a chaste, pure way of life, because unbelieving husbands watch closely. Evil people often observe believers with curiosity, envy, and suspicion. A pure life, joined to proper respect for others, is a strong way to lead them toward the gospel and obedience to it.

Peter also teaches wives to value inner beauty more than outward decoration. He warns against the common forms of dress that were then linked with vanity and moral looseness: elaborate hair styling, gold ornaments, and costly, showy clothing (1 Peter 3:3). He does not forbid clothing itself, but he warns against excess, pride, and dressing in a way meant to tempt others. Christian women should make sure their outward behavior matches their confession of Christ, and that they are holy in all their conduct.

Instead of focusing on outer decoration, Christian wives should adorn the hidden person of the heart, that is, the soul. The real ornament is not something that fades, but the grace and virtues given by the Holy Spirit. Bodily ornaments wear out and pass away, but God’s grace grows brighter with use. Above all, Peter praises a meek and quiet spirit, a gentle and peaceful temper free from pride, anger, and stubbornness. This kind of spirit shows itself in a calm and kind way toward husbands and families.

If a husband is harsh or opposed to religion, as was true in some of these cases, meek behavior is often the best way to win him. Even when it does not change the husband, a quiet spirit helps a woman live at peace with herself. Others also see that peace, and it becomes a graceful and attractive part of her character. Meekness and calmness are of great worth in God’s sight.

A true Christian’s main concern is to govern his or her own spirit well. The hypocrite may stop at outward behavior, but the true Christian begins there and goes deeper. The inner life is the chief place where Christian beauty is found. A composed, calm, and quiet spirit makes either a man or a woman lovely.

Because these duties are hard, Peter strengthens them by pointing to holy women of the past, women who trusted in God (1 Peter 3:5). They lived long before, with less light and fewer examples than later believers, yet they practiced these duties faithfully. Their example still matters, because they were holy women. They trusted God, yet they did not neglect their duties to others. So these commands are not new or strange, but the same kind of life that the best women have always lived.

Peter also points to Sarah, who obeyed Abraham, followed him when he left Ur of the Chaldeans without knowing where he was going, and called him lord, showing reverence and recognizing his place in the marriage (Genesis 12:1; 18:12). This was true even though God had honored her with a change of name and had declared her a princess. Christian women are Sarah’s daughters if they follow her faith and good works. They must not let fear of their husbands drive them to give up the truth or refuse their duty. Rather, they should do what is right willingly, without fear or pressure, out of conscience toward God and a sense of duty to their husbands.

God keeps exact account of all that men and women do. The subjection of wives to husbands has been practiced by holy women in every age. The greatest honor for any person is to live faithfully and humbly in the place where God has put them. God notices the good in his servants and uses it for their honor and benefit, while overlooking a multitude of failures. Sarah’s unbelief and laughter are passed over, while her virtues are praised.

Christians should do their duty to one another, not from fear or force, but from a willing heart and in obedience to God’s command. So wives should submit to their harsh husbands, not out of dread or shock, but from a desire to do what is right and to please God.

Next, the husband’s duty to his wife must be considered. First, he should live with her, which rules out needless separation and calls for a shared life marked by peace and delight. He should also live with her according to knowledge, not according to lust like animals, nor according to passion like evil spirits, but as wise and sober men who know God’s word and their own duty.

He must also give honor to his wife. That means showing her proper respect, supporting her authority in the home, protecting her person, defending her reputation, enjoying her company, providing well for her, and trusting her as he should. These duties are required because she is the weaker vessel by nature and should therefore be defended.

Yet the wife is equal to her husband in higher things. They are joint heirs of the grace of life, sharing together in all the blessings of this life and the next. For that reason, they should live together in peace and quietness. If they do not, their prayers together and for each other will be hindered, and often they will pray with troubled minds or not pray at all.

From this we learn that the weakness of women is no reason for contempt or separation. It is, instead, a reason for honor and respect, since we are told to give honor to the wife as to the weaker vessel. We also learn that all who are heirs of the grace of life deserve honor. And all married people should be careful to live so lovingly and peacefully with each other that their quarrels do not block the success of their prayers.