1 Corinthians 7:10 - Meaning and Application

In this paragraph, the apostle gives direction about a problem that must have come up often in that time, especially among Jewish believers. The question was whether Christians should keep living with unbelieving family members in marriage. Moses’ law allowed divorce, and in Ezra’s day there was a case where the people had to put away their idolatrous wives (Ezra 10:3). That could lead some to wonder whether new believers in Christ were also required to leave unbelieving spouses.

On this matter, the apostle says that marriage, by Christ’s command, is for life, so married people must not plan on separation. The wife must not leave her husband (1 Corinthians 7:10), and the husband must not send his wife away (1 Corinthians 7:11). When he says, “I command, yet not I, but the Lord,” he does not mean he is speaking on his own authority. He means that the Lord Jesus had already given this command by his own words and authority (Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:9; Mark 10:11; Luke 16:18).

The point is clear, a husband and wife cannot break their marriage whenever they please. They must not separate except for the reason Christ allows. So if a woman has been separated, whether by her own act or by her husband’s act, she should stay unmarried and seek reconciliation with her husband so they may live together again. Husbands and wives should not let quarrels continue. They belong to each other for life, and God’s law gives no permission for separation.

Paul then brings this general rule to the case of a believer married to an unbeliever (1 Corinthians 7:12). He says, “To the rest speak I, not the Lord,” meaning that Jesus had not spoken as directly to this exact case as he had to divorce. This does not mean Paul is speaking without the Lord’s guidance. He is still teaching by the Holy Spirit, as he later makes clear (1 Corinthians 7:40). His advice is that if an unbelieving husband or wife is willing to live with a Christian spouse, the believer should not separate. The Christian husband should not send away his unbelieving wife, and the Christian wife should not leave her unbelieving husband (1 Corinthians 7:12-13).

Becoming a Christian did not cancel the marriage covenant. In fact, it gave that covenant a stronger shape by bringing it back to God’s original plan, one man and one woman joined for life. A believer is not set free from marriage just because the other spouse does not believe. Instead, the believer is called to live faithfully and may become a better husband or wife through faith in Christ.

Still, if the unbelieving spouse deserts the believer, and nothing can bring them back to living together, then the brother or sister is not “in bondage” (1 Corinthians 7:15). That means they are not bound to chase after the one who left, or to remain trapped by a stubborn refusal to live as a spouse should. If the deserter will not return, after proper efforts at reconciliation, the deserted believer is not forced to remain unmarried forever. In such a case, the marriage has, in practice, been broken by the other person’s willful abandonment.

Even so, Christians are not allowed to separate from a spouse merely because that spouse is an unbeliever. If the unbelieving husband or wife is willing to stay, they should remain together and continue in that relation. That is Paul’s general instruction.

He then gives the reasons for this advice. First, the marriage relation is made holy by the holiness of either spouse: “For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife by the husband” (1 Corinthians 7:14). This does not mean the unbeliever is saved simply by marriage. It means the marriage itself, and the ordinary use of married life, are made clean and lawful for the believer. “To the pure all things are pure” (Titus 1:15). Marriage is God’s institution, and if contact with an unbelieving spouse made the believer unclean, then marriage itself would be ruined in many Christian homes.

So Paul says that if one spouse is holy, the other is set apart in relation to that holy person. Each is “sanctified” for the sake of the other. Because husband and wife are one flesh, the holy standing of one does not make the marriage defiling. If that were not true, then the children would be unclean. But Paul says, “Now they are holy” (1 Corinthians 7:14), meaning they are not to be treated as outside the covenant people of God. They would be considered like the heathen, outside the church and covenant, but that is not their standing. This way of speaking matches Jewish usage, where a child born to pagan parents was said to be born outside holiness, while a child born to proselyte parents was said to be born within holiness.

Christians are commonly called saints. They are holy by profession, set apart as a special people for God, and marked off from the world. For that reason, children born to Christians, even if one parent is an unbeliever, should not be counted as part of the world, but as belonging to the church. They are a holy seed, not a common and unclean one. So the command is, continue to live with unbelieving relatives. If you are holy, then the marriage itself is in a holy setting, and you may still use that relation in a holy way, including in marriage duties. Your children too will be holy. What comfort this gives when both husband and wife are believers!

A second reason is that God has called Christians to peace (1 Corinthians 7:15). The Christian faith requires us to act peacefully in every kind of relationship, both family and civic. We are to live peaceably with all people, as far as it depends on us (Romans 12:18). Surely, then, we should seek the peace and comfort of our closest relatives, those with whom we are one flesh, even if they are unbelievers. It should be the work and concern of married people to make each other as easy and happy as possible.

A third reason is that the believing spouse may become the means of the other’s salvation (1 Corinthians 7:16): “How do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband?” It is clearly the duty of those who are so closely joined to seek the salvation of the one they belong to. Do not separate. Another duty now comes first. Marriage calls for the closest and deepest affection, and it is a lifelong bond. Should a Christian leave a spouse when there is a chance to show the greatest love? Stay, and work earnestly for your relative’s conversion. Try to save a soul. Who knows whether this may be the result? It is not impossible. Even if the chance seems small, saving a soul is such a great and noble work that even the smallest possibility should move us to act. The mere chance of success should be enough to lead us to diligent effort in saving our relatives’ souls. “What do I know, but I may save his soul?” should stir us to try.